If you are new to SLAA or just checking it out for the first time, welcome! We’re really glad you’re here.
If you’re struggling with painful patterns in relationships, sex, love, or fantasy—and you’re not sure where to turn—you’re not alone. Many of us came to our first SLAA meeting full of questions, fear, or shame. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just a desire for change is enough.
What is love and sex addiction?
Sex and love addiction can take many forms: obsession with relationships, unhealthy sexual behavior, fear of intimacy, romantic fantasy, or constantly seeking validation through others.
You don’t need to fit a textbook definition—only you can decide if this program is right for you.
SLAA provides a 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis as tool to help you determine for yourself if you could be a sex and love addict. Keep in mind, there confirming number of yes or no answers; only you can decide.
Read SLAA's Twelve Characters of Sex and Love Addiction to get a sense of how SLA appears in our lives.
What SLAA offers
SLAA offers a path out of destructive cycles by connecting us with others who’ve walked the same road—and found a way through. The program is based on the Twelve Steps, a spiritual framework that helps us:
- Break free from unhealthy patterns in sex, love, or relationships
- Build self-awareness and self-respect
- Heal the pain underneath the compulsions
- Learn to give and receive love in healthy, non-addictive ways
- Develop a connection with a Higher Power of our own understanding
- Find long-term support and fellowship from others in recovery
In SLAA, recovery doesn’t mean perfection—it means progress, healing, and freedom from behaviors that once felt impossible to stop.
Read SLAA's Twelve Signs of Recovery here
A Program based on the Twelve Steps
SLAA is modeled after the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Just as the 12 Steps have helped people recover from alcoholism and drug addiction, they've also helped many of us recover from the pain and chaos of sex and love addiction.
The Twelve Steps guide us in looking at ourselves honestly, making peace with the past, and building a new way of living—one based on emotional and spiritual growth, not compulsive behaviors.
You can read the Twelve Steps of SLAA here.
What About Spirituality?
SLAA is a spiritual program, but not a religious one. There are no specific beliefs you need to have to participate. We encourage each person to define a “Higher Power” in a way that feels meaningful to them—or simply stay open to the idea of a power greater than our addiction.
Some people think of that Higher Power as God, others as nature, the fellowship, the universe, or simply the healing process itself.
What matters most is being open to something beyond our own willpower—because most of us tried managing this alone, and it didn’t work. Recovery begins when we realize we don’t have to do it by ourselves anymore.
Tips for getting started
If you’re here, chances are something isn’t working—and you’re looking for things to change. That’s exactly where many of us began. The good news is, you don’t have to figure everything out today. You just have to take the next right step.
Recovery starts simply: one meeting, one moment of honesty, one act of courage at a time. Below are four ways to begin your journey in SLAA. You are welcome here. You are not alone. And you don’t have to do this perfectly—just take the first step.
Attend a meeting: Just show up. You don’t have to say anything, sign anything, or commit to anything. In your first few meetings, we encourage you to simply listen and identify. Pay attention to what resonates. Many of us were surprised to hear our own stories in the voices of others. If someone's
Pick up some literature: Many members found literature to be helpful early on, though it's not required that you purchase anything. Program literature can be purchased or digitally downloaded through SLAA.
Some resources that are particuarly helpful for beginners include the SLAA Basic Text (which can also be purchased on Amazon), Welcome Pamphlet, An Introduction to SLAA, Suggestions for Newcomers, and Questions Beginners Ask.
Call SLAA Members for Support: We offer phone lists of members who are available to connect and support you. You’re also welcome to ask for someone’s number directly. Please don’t isolate—reach out. Even if you’ve never spoken before, don’t hesitate to make the call. Recieving a phone call helps the other person just as much as it helps you.
What to expect at a meeting
Our local Charleston SLAA meetings are an hour-long and include a combination of open sharing about our addiction and recovery, as well as reading of SLAA literature.
Below is a list of FAQs about meetings. Feel free to contact us slaacharleston@gmail.com with any questions as well.
No. While sharing is encouraged, especially over time, there’s no pressure to speak until you're ready. You are free to simply listen.
Members are encouraged to share openly and honestly about their experiences with addiction and recovery.
When sharing, we speak from our own experience and "cross-talk," which is interrupting someone when they are sharing, commenting on what someone shares, talking to someone directly in the meeting, or referencing what someone has said in this or another meeting.
We also ask that members avoid naming specific apps, websites, or explicit sexual details in their shares, so that we can keep this space safe and supportive for everyone, especially newcomers.
Yes, our meeting is open to everyone regardless of sex, gender, or sexual orientation.
Our decision to hold "mixed" meetings is guided by our fellowship's Basic Text, which stands against "men only" and "women only" meetings.
We seek to offer a safe and welcoming environment for healing for all people in the Charleston area.
We also pass along the message from the SLAA Basic Text that members should avoid labeling others as "external enemies," take responsibility for sex and love addiction as an "internal affliction," and use the SLAA group as an oppurtunity to practice relating to others in healthier, non-addictive ways.
Absolutely. While there’s usually not back-and-forth during the meeting itself, we make space before or after the meeting for newcomers to ask questions or connect with members.
Yes. Anonymity is a core tradition of SLAA. Everything shared in meetings is confidential, and members are asked to introduce themselves by first name only.
Like other 12-step fellowships, SLAA is spiritual, not religious. While we refer to a "Higher Power" in the Steps, how you define that is entirely up to each member.
Only you can decide that. Many of us found clarity by reading SLAA's 40 questions for self diagnosis and listening to others share their experience.